not a big change, I still look the same

I had a friend in 6th grade named Travis and he wore glasses. One time I spent the night at his house and he took his glasses off. He looked different and weird. His eyes seemed further back than I imagined and his eye sockets appeared dark. Those were things I never noticed when he has his glasses on. It was the whole Clark Kent/Superman thing in reverse.

I think some people can look drastically different with glasses and some can look the same. I can only judge myself from my point of view, but based on comments I think I am one who looks the same whether I wear glasses or not. People don't seem to notice.

I wonder if the same thing is true with facial hair.

As many of you may have noticed, I grew a beard over this last Christmas and I just shaved it off about a month ago. No one said anything. I went into work the next day and not one comment. I don't believe that anybody reading this made a comment either. Usually, BB will point out anything different on a person as he asked me about my new bag today, but no comment about the missing beard. In fact, I think I had to point it out to Vernal before she noticed.

So I wonder, do some people look quite the same with or without facial hair? I believe so and I think I fall into that category. My dad on the otherhand looks quite different when he loses his mustache.

One time, I talked a fellow coworker into shaving his gotee. He said that he has no chin. He was right, he didn't have a chin and he looked funny.

ballin'

Last weekend, I was driving in my car and I make brief eye contact with the red mini-van beside me. It was just a split second and I don't think I retained any knowledge about the male driver.

I come to stop at an intersection and I can feel the presence of the van trying to get my attention. The young hispanic driver wants me to roll down my window to talk. Oh brother! He is with several of his friends. I am not sure what the intent of this conversation is going to be about. I don't think I cut him off or anything like that. You know, people usually aren't chatty from a car to car basis at intersections. My defenses were up.

So my window went down and I got asked a series of questions that left me baffled and I don't know if I can recall what went down because I am not fluent in a latino ghetto slang form of speech. And I think the driver was aware that I wouldn't understand him as he asked me if I knew what _______ means?

The first question after I rolled down my window was "have you ever heard of Mafia 13?" I think that is what he said. Or did he say MS-13?? I have heard of MS-13 on NPR - the most dangerous and violent street gang in the world. Act dumb but cool, I don't what to acknowledge anything about gangs. "No."

Next, followed a couple more questions about things that I never heard of that I answered "no." I am starting to feel a bit more relaxed as I take in the surroundings. I mean these guys are driving a mini-van, so they are probably in highschool and it's their mom's.

"Do you know what ballin' means?" I have an idea, but I'm not going to guess in front of them, so I say "no."

"It's like when your really into something or..." blah, blah, blah. It means that something is cool. Is this guy messing with me? "hey lets have fun with the 30 year old white guy."

But then he says "Your shades are really ballin'. I bet the girls are really into you."

And I say "yes, I have always been real good with the ladies." Nah, I'm joking - I didn't say that. I said "Oh, I don't know about that. I married, so I got one girl whose really into me."

Was he playing (playin') me. I play that game sometimes - the one where you pump up someones ego, because you know you are going to get unrealisticly funny results. Anyway, I played it cool and our brief but weird conversation ended with laughs and smiles.

close calls

Do you ever feel like something bad is suppose to happen to you?

I had a couple of close calls on the way to church tonight. First, I'm driving along a residential street with Ewe in the back seat and I see a guy playing with a couple of dogs close to the street. The dogs are chasing and one decides to dart out into the street. I was ready for it to happen but still, after braking (not slamming), I only missed him by a few feet. The second incident happened within two minutes from the first. I pulled off the residential street onto a major street. I was switching lanes because I saw the left hand lane had a few cars waiting to make a left hand turn. The car in front of me was not so forward thinking and tried to switch lanes, but ended up rear-ending the car in front of it. My mind was doing the math (calculating the apparent velocity of the vehicle against the diminishing distance) and I was thinking...that cars going to...yep, it did. The bumper went flying off as I slowed down to a safe (let's see what's going to happen) distance.

At first it felt like something was out to get me. Can I escape this trouble? It missed me the first two times, will it come back.

But then I wonder...I've been reading Blink by Ted Dekker. It's about this guy who develops this gift of seeing alternate futures based on certain actions. It's a thriller, of coarse, and this gift comes in handy as he eludes those who are trying to catch him. He doesn't see the future, but see possible futures that is limited to 3 hour into the future. His possible futures are based on "if I do this action, it will start this chain reaction of events" which will cause enough of a distraction or obstacle for him to escape.

So I wonder...maybe I wasn't being chased down by a troublesome event. Maybe, I was being saved from one. What if I was on a path to be a part of the accident in front of me, but the dog, by running into the street (and me having to break and slow down) altered my coarse slightly that I was able to avoid the wreck by 10 seconds.

Now that's interesting.

Sunday

This is my weekend for catching guest speakers at different churches.

Tonight, Vernal and I went to her old church, Sheffield Family Life Center to see Sy Rogers. He told his life story of being sexually abused as a child to embracing the homosexual lifestyle to his almost sex-change operation to his new life in Christ and the healing that has brought.

He was a great speaker with a witty sense of humor (think jack on will and grace.) He still has all the gay mannerisms which are funny. But oh man, he said a lot of interesting things to keep in mind in dealing with not only homosexuals but all people who need God's love and redemption.

Higly recommended, if you ever get a chance to see him.

weekend update

Friday:

• my half day of work.
• took my car in for an oil change.
• met my dad and his truck at a construction building place to pick up some sand to complete the sandbox project. A ton of sand is only $16. A 50 lb. bag at wal-mart is like $3.
• moved the sand from the truck to the sandbox.
• took a quick trip up to Best Buy.
• made some yummy low-fat quesadillas.
• watched movies - Fun with Dick and Jane and Without a Paddle. They were both pretty short and Els woke up a few times, so I rocked with him.

Saturday:

• Vernal took Ewe to swim lessons and I stayed home with Els.
• ran a few errands in the morning.
• mowed the lawn.
• went to First Family Church with my dad to see Lee Strobel speak. He was very good. The format was a sitdown interview with Q&A. Lee Strobel discussed everything from the Da Vinci Code and its flaws to the gnostic gospel of Judas to his own personal story of being an athiest and investigating the history of Jesus to becoming a believer and receiver.
• ate some yummy low-fat chicken tacos.

with all that money...

If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch
Would you do it?
If you could make everybody poor just so you could be rich
Would you do it?
If you could watch everybody work while you just lay on your back
Would you do it?
If you could take all the love without giving any back
Would you do it?
And so we cannot know ourselves or what we'd really do...

With all your power
With all your power
With all your power
What would you do?

YeahYeahYeah Song - Flaming Lips

A few weeks ago on television it was reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spent over $20,000 on the baby nursery. The money was spent on everything from designer furniture to that $65 teddy bear that Katy couldn’t resist.

I thought that was a crazy amount of money to spend on something that is so temporary for a baby’s first two years of life.

With all that money, what would I do?

I assured my self that if I was filthy stinkin’ rich, I wouldn’t spend like that or change my habits…much. Okay, maybe a little. Our first crib and changing table were hand-me-downs seven times removed. They eventually fell apart so we bought new furniture for El, but that was under $250 from target on-line. Maybe, I’d buy a new house too, so that we could have more room. We’d probably need a new car to lug around the kids in comfort. One with a dvd player. And they would need all the latest and greatest toys – the kinds that are educational. Cute clothes…not the kind with cartoon characters. But other than that I wouldn’t spend much. That’s not much is it? Maybe, I’d get a few more CD’s for myself and take the family on really great vacations. I don’t think I’d change much from my thrifty ways…not much.

If I could buy anything I wanted, while others are scrapping by – would I do it?

*****

Willpower:

Yesterday, I passed up candy bars in the kitchen. Today, I passed up Panera pastries in the kitchen. For lunch, a rep brought Dean and Deluca sandwhiches – yummy!

highlights of catering

...i have no highlights of catering other than:

I like it when they bring food.
I like it when they serve food.
I like that I don't have to pay for the food.
I like the fact that I don't have to clean up.

This week at work we'll have had 3 lunch provided to us by product rep's. On Monday, it was grinders from Joe Joe's. Yesterday, it was sandwhiches from Panera. Today I have off, but there is another lunch tomorrow. Hopefully, barbeque.

the weekend and found objects

Found Objects:
Four 15' long cedar beams.

Location:
Originally, in the ceiling of our family room as decorative beams for a faux mountain lodge look. (you should have seen the room before we painted the wood paneling.) The most recent location has been in our back yard.

Different Uses:
One beam was made into an edge trim to separate the grass from the tomato garden. The others had been transformed into an intricate balance beam system that looked like a challenge from Survivor. Yes, these were the beams that were placed on an incline that took you to the top of the slide of our swing set that Ewan fell off of and broke his arm.

Permanent Use:
A sandbox. My boys love to play in the sand. This was the weekend project. After putting on some tunes for outside work, I took the remaining beams and got out the power tools and constructed a 6' X 8' box. My master craftsman award goes for the intricate notches that I cut on the ends of each beam so that they would overlap with the intersecting beams. My little buddy, Ewan, was there every step of the way, jumping right in with the measuring tape and being a good helper. We had to measure and draw lines as guides for cutting the pieces and then he would retreat to the top of the deck and watch from above when it was time to cut.

I really am amazed at his doing and helping qualities. I don't think I ever had the zest to jump in and help get a job done. Maybe, I had it once, but became selfish and lazy.

Every step of the way, there he was doing. It's tricky. Eliot was just as interested, but he is too young to help in any way and he got in the way. I had Vernal take him inside. But it is tricky - to balance getting the job done, managing a little guy who wants to help but most likely gets in the way, and not loosing your cool when the trials of the job catch up with the hours and the guy that might be in the way.

I had to remind myself, that this is not a race and to try to look at this project through his eyes and understand that this is the essence of being a boy. A place that I was at so many years ago - being so young, but believing you are so big and can do anything. Working with your dad and making him proud, to get those much needed words of affirmation that will hopefully give you the confidence to carry you through life.

We worked for a few hours on Saturday and then Vernal and I went out that night.

Sunday afternoon, I fought the urge to take a nap and headed to the backyard to finish the job. All the beams were cut, so the next job was to dig out about 6" in the ground for the box to fit in. Again, this was job that Ewan could not stand the thought of not helping. We both have shovels and we are digging a way making a big pile of dirt.

I said it was tricky...there was one point that Ewan was knocking dirt back into the hole that I was trying to clear and I got on him a little. Instantly, I could tell that I hurt his feelings and I had to save him quickly. I said I was sorry and gave him an important job in the hole. That seemed to cheer him up quickly.

Finally, we get the hole wide enough, so we set the beams in place. Ewan helps me carry them; he jumps in place right underneath the beam and gets his hands on them. I drilled a couple of lag screws in each corner and the back filled the dirt around the perimeter so that the box is almost flush with the ground.

As I am doing this, Ewan instinctively becomes barefoot and starts playing in the big dirt pile that we accumulated. Is there anything that better defines a boy than being barefoot in the dirt? It is bathtime, but he deserves to savor this moment. He got out his big Tonka bulldozer and is pushing the dirt around and creating an nice flat incline up the hill and then riding down on the wheels. He can take a bath in half an hour, because this mound of dirt won't be there forever.

So, we finished the project except of the sand. We'll get that this week.

new family member

They kept it a surprise. Vernal's sister gave birth yesterday to their first child and it was a girl.

We all went up to the hospital last night after work to visit her and the mother and father.

They named her Reese. She has a lot of dark hair.

The boys are excited about their new cousin.

It is nice that there will now be other little legs running around creating havoc on Vernal's side of the family. But Reese is a girl, so she'll probably be an angel.

trash night

It is 11:53 p.m.

I just gathered all the trash in the house, put it in the cans, and drug them out to the street. I then grabbed the recycling bin and also put it near the street.

I feel like I am always the last person on my block to take out the trash the night before, as I am always doing it a few minutes before midnight. I don't hear anyone else dragging their cans across the concrete driveway. In fact, I look both directions and everyone has their set in place. And many have their trash on the curb by the time I pull in after a full day of work. (cough, cough, neighbor to the west.)

What does this say about me?

I go to bed late.

I remember at the last minute.

It's my chore to do before I go to bed vs. before I eat dinner.

It's my last priority of the day.

I'm lucky if I remember.

I am busy because I get home, I change clothes, I eat, I go to church with my oldest son, we come home, we put him to bed, I read him books, I watch Lost, I gather the trash, I put it on the curb - it is 11:45.

It's perfect - the timing is right.

It is kinda nice viewing the street in the stillness of the night and wondering if I am the last to put out my trash.

the anti-bacterial gel pump

I found myself laughing today as I thought back a few weeks ago when I went out to lunch with some of my former co-workers. It was on my half-Friday and we went to the Flea Market in Westport for burgers. So after lunch, I went back to my former office and chatted with a few people who couldn't make it for lunch.

I was catching up with this girl who we'll call B. She is a talker, so there is no quick conversation. As I am talking to her, this older guy in his late 50's who some call Scooter, but not to his face, comes walking by. Scooter is a chain smoker, small weasel-ly, bald with a little mullet guy who doesn't wash his hands after using the facility. I don't think the name Scooter fits him well since he looks more like an old wizard.

So, Scooter walks by and says hi and asks me how am I doing and in this brief formalities of conversation, we shake hands. (In my head, I was saying "don't shake hands, don't shake hands...Duhhh, I shook hands.)

So B picks up the conversations right up from before we were interrupted and without acknowledging what she was doing, she reaches for the anti-bacterial gel pump sitting on her desk and hands it to me so that I could cleanse my hands. A physical response that has become second nature to her since she sits right next to scooter.

Thank you, B!

this is a first

look at me...

here I am typing on a Friday night. I never visit blogland over the weekend, but now...watchout!!

So what happened today???

It was my half day at work and I spent the morning coloring up a site plan in photoshop. That was fun easy work after spending a few days taking care of a city code issue and writing a letter asking for a code modification that will give us permission to do something that is not allowed by code. We have an existing condition on a 50 year old building that I am converting into town homes and sometimes the new codes just don't jive with existing standards. So, hopefully the city will grant us permission or else it'll get real expensive.

(Whoa, I didn't mean to go there.)

This afternoon we all went to Antioch Park to play and enjoy the weather, but the weather soon changed and you could feel the tempature dropping and there were also little spats of rain. But that didn't slow us down, the boys still played and found rocks to throw into the lake and geese to chase.

After the park - to Quick Trip. Slushees on me. We drove down to the plaza to look at a few projects that I worked on that are now under consturction. Then Ewan talked us into going to the Plaza Library. So, we spent an hour or so there.

I took a path home that brought us close to Oklahoma Joe's. The rest is history. MMMH!! I ate my divine Kansas City BBQ in honor of our friend in Spain. Darwin, that Z-man was for you.

So here I am on a Friday night, where I have spent the last couple of hours messing with my itunes now that I have high-speed at home. I was shopping; spending a $10 gift certificate that I got for Christmas. I had to sample a lot of music before I made a choice.

Good night! Now I will go read.

Last Saturday April 1st

Last Saturday was a pretty busy for Ewan.

We started off with the first day of swimming lessons at the community center in Mission. He was with a group of kids his age and they were learning the basics about water and getting comfortable with the water. He is really funny to watch in a group setting - to see how he interacts with the other kids and makes friend instantly. He actually listens to the teacher and followers her instructions.

Next we went home and got Eliot and then picked up grandpa and headed over to the stables at Shawnee Mission Park. My dad has a girl in one of his classes who has an old horse that she rides and invited Ewan to come out for a ride.


He had such a good time and couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He's had a lot of practice with the free motorized horse ride machine at our local Hy-Vee. It was a beautiful day, too.

we are connected

I am happy to announce...

that Vernal and I...

are now waking up to the new millennium...

we now have hi-speed at home...

please welcome us...

hopefully Vernal will visit more often.

March recap: music, movie, book

April has begun, so now is my time to look back over the month of March to see what Albums I picked up, movies purchaseds, and books read.

Mogwai - Mr. Beast

An album of mostly instrumental post-rock songs. I listened to this one quite a bit every night as I did the dishes.

Matisyahu - Youth

Every once in a while I pick up an album that I know will challenge my musical tastes. This was that album. Matisyahu is a Hasidic Jew who plays a form of contemporary raggae with a slight mix of hip-hop. It is a very religious album and very Old Testament, with views on the modern world. It is a good listen when I am in the right mood. Unfortunately, hours after I bought the album, I got really sick and was in no mood for any music, let alone reggae. But it seems like it'll be a good spring album.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I really liked the book and the movie is a pretty fun version of the book. I like to see that world come alive on the screen.

The Da Vinci Code

Thanks to BB for loaning me this book. I can honestly say that this book gets people talking. I have never read a book in public before with so many people (strangers) who are curious about it. This was without the cover on and me trying to hide the spine. For some reason, in public places I don't like people to know what I am reading. I find it hard to believe that this book has affected so many people - like they say it has. They ideas aren't new - has anybody taken western civ. in college or just hung out in the dorm room with conspiracy theorist? The book attacks the symbols and traditions of the Catholic church, but we all know that you can't make a judgement on God based on his people. I found the book to be a bit preachy in the same way that I find cheesy christian fiction to be preachy. I felt like I was being hit over the head with the goddess of the sacred feminine. (I was like - Okay, you win. You can make every image and symbol in the world to represent this female goddess. I get it - already!!!) The book acted like it was a big secret that most christian holidays are celebrated on days that were pagan holidays and so when we go to church on Sunday we are secretly worshipping the Sun God??? They don't get that idols and symbols and holidays don't really mean that much to us Christians. Other items where pretty far-fetched, but I'll save those for latter with people who have read the book. I know that they have all these books out that debunk the claims they make in the da vinci code and I would be curious to look through one as I am sure that they hit on the specific claims of the book. But I think Lee Strobel's A Case for Christ answers most of the concerns about the diety of Christ and the authencity of the Gospels.

It's a fun read if you like conspiracy theory thrillers.