Thursday, August 11, 2005

ONE FOR THE BOOKS, or how to completely embarrass yourself on the first day of your new job.

A person I know, let’s call her Amanda, started a new job yesterday. She spent the weekend before shopping for more professional clothes, because her new employer isn’t as casual as her previous. As everyone knows, the first day is an important day for making good first impressions. I saw her later that night and she looked good still dressed up in her office attire and sporting a fresh haircut. With her killer personality, it was assumed that she hit the ball out of the park – well except for one unlucky person.

Here is her story (from what I can remember):

I assume the office is rather large and that she hasn’t met everybody nor will be working with everyone on a daily basis. The problem started when she walked into the bathroom and there was an older lady at the mirror. She momentarily holds the door open for her as to be polite so she can exit, but the lady is working on her hair and make-up. At this point Amanda, enter a stall to take care of some business. The lady is still at the mirror. As Amanda lowers her bottom onto the seat, a sudden unexpected discharge of gas is released creating a not so pleasant noise. The lady is still at the mirror. Amanda can not wait any longer, and proceeds to pee hoping to be as quiet and controlled as possible. As the story goes, she was not able to control herself and all hell broke loose. She said that she ripped a pretty big one, long and noisy.

The lady was still at the mirror when all of this was happening, but eventually left. Amanda hoped that the lady wouldn’t remember it was her who walked in and hoped that she would soon forget the incident. It is a big office, right?

Moments later when Amanda was sitting at her desk, that same lady came by to talk to her about a project they would be working on together. She said nothing about the bathroom, (but we all know she was giggling inside.)

6 comments:

shakedust said...

How a person keep a straight face after that. Talk about being marked on the first day.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had that problem..

GoldenSunrise said...

Hilarious! That would be a great submittal to "your most embarrassing moment" column in Seventeen magazine. I used to love reading those. Most of the stories were about accidentally farting around your crush.

roamingwriter said...

You can never be quiet when you need to - what is it with that?

windarkwingod said...

did the new project involve a toilet brush?

Dash said...

I find that a preemptive flush covers most fart sounds. It also seves as a distraction as everyone will think you are finished and that the fart must have come from someone else.