I was at my grandparent’s church over Memorial Day weekend. They do a big patriotic service every Memorial weekend. We got to sing the old battle hymns and the God Bless
- THE AEROBIC TWIST – The teenage girl in front of me was doing this. The legs are firmly planted but the upper body is twisting back and forth – to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right. This action is the most distracting and probably the silliest looking, because there is a lot of movement.
- THE TWO-STEP – For some of these old women this is the closest they come to dancing. This action is the rhythmic shift of weight from their left foot to their right foot and back and forth….dancing with Jesus!!!
- HEELS TO TOES – This is mostly a man movement, because we are not as sensual as the women. This is the rocking back and forth movement that is caused by the shift of body weight from the heels to the toes. If the prayer is really hitting a spiritual high note the movement will often be accentuated by a “heel to toes to TIP TOES.” The burst of energy to elevate your body an extra 4 inches is a physical gesture of an “AMEN!!!!”
- THE MOANERS – They are loud and they are in pain with agreement to every word of the prayer. It hurts. AHH-MEN. YES, LOWERED. OH, GEE – SUSS. The old men are really good at this with their old raspy voices. The louder the MOANERS, the more encouraged the person praying gets. He is really hitting on something and becomes even more fervent in his prayer. They are the cause for some of the really long prayers. They feed off of each others energy.
- THE MIND WANDERERS – This is the worst of the lot. They loose interest and can’t focus on the prayer and start looking around at other people. Watching other peoples strange behavior while there’s goes unnoticed. Many times they take notice of the floral pattern on the back of old sister Smiths dress. The flowers don’t match up on the other side of the zipper. The zipper has come down about ½” from the top of the back. Etc.
I am sure there are more quirky behaviors, but that is all I noticed in about 5 minutes.
12 comments:
I am definitely a mind wanderer. I usually don't glance around the room, though, for fear that I will be spotted by another mind wanderer or by the five-year-old kids who are playing in the pew behind me.
On a different note, I never undestood the purpose of the long prayer. I sometimes doubt that it is directed to God since it usually turns into a short sermon with everyone's eyes closed. When I was a college student surviving on little sleep I used to look forward to the long prayer on Sunday morning because I could slouch with my eyes closed for a few minutes.
Yep, the sermon/prayer is too commonly observed. For example, "Lord help us to remember that points 3 and 4 from the sermon were particularly meaningful and deserve repetition during this time of intercession." I have to admit though that I do enjoy watching the moaners.
During the long prayers I can usually get a quick pick-me-up nap. But I have to be somewhat paying attention for the Amen.
Quite often there is a small child sitting in front of me that is usually staring at me when I decide to open my eyes during the prayer. I quickly shut my eyes again so I can be a good example in front of the child.
YOU CRACK ME UP! These are so tradionally typical of the churches I grew up in...LOL!
I remember my dad was the "heels to toes" and my mother is the "moaner".
I think I must have been more like you...the OBSERVER! My sister and I used to count how many purple heads there were! =D
Mrs. Dash and I tend to count unnessesary uses of the "Lord" "Father", "God" etc. We do this on our fingers to show each other how many we've heard. Sometimes we hold hands as we do this so the 5 year olds and watchers don't see us.
Example:
Gracious FATHER (0), we ask Oh LORD (1)that you would be in our midst,FATHER - GOD(3); and that your mercy would be on sister so-n-so, GOD(4) as she is recuperating from her "procedure" FATHER(4) - that she riiiiisee up and be restored DEAR LORD(5) with a strength that only you can give, FATHER-GOD(7) OH LORD(8) - OH LORD (9) - OH LORRRRD (10). I can feel it comin' in the air tonight OH LORD(11) I've been waiting for this moment all my life OH LORD (12) ....
The long prayer is actually an example of part of the reason that I have a hard time praying in groups. If I pray, I am talking to God and no one else. As such, I don't want to be concerned about what other people are thinking about what I am saying.
Dash said:
I can feel it comin' in the air tonight OH LORD(11) I've been waiting for this moment all my life OH LORD (12)
CLASSIC!!
You had me rolling.
I believe that when a prayer is sincere--long or short it has my attention, it's when I feel that it's a lot of filler that they lose me.
I can't do the filler...it ends up being a lot christianese cliche pharses. I never felt comfortable with that language. I hate praying in front of a group for fear of messing something up and the pressure of having a really good prayer. The more moans the better the prayer right.?!! But I have alson learned to give one bad prayer and the pastor won't call on you again. That is my advise. ;)
Usually nap-time then jerk awake and make mean face at kid staring at me then close eyes real quick not to be caught and think about a reality show....
I usually don't think too much about the long ones unless they aren't really saying anything, but when I'm sleepy...ohhhh, it feels good to close my eyes. It's trying to make sure to be conscious for the Amen that's the thing.
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